Starbucks had been selling drinks that were "charged" with lots of caffiene (and some other shit plant extract that grows in the tropics)—until people started dropping dead.
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THREE FLAVORS OF DEATH? The witch's brews that bred a controversy.
Although no causal link had been established, S-bux—out of an abundance of fear of stockholders caution—suddenly discontinued the charged drinks. This may seem like a wise move, but S-bux is bucking a profitable trend: have you seen how many other "charged" products are out there?
Comrades will be pleased to know that since we sell no stock, we have no stockholders to fear, so the People's Secret Underground Bunker Waffle House will continue to vend our own, very popular "charged" drinks.
